step back

Thought i'd give you all (that sounds funny seeing as no one is following my blog!) future readers a bit of history on my journey.

Ok, so I had my surgety on the 28th July 2010.  The heaviest I have been - few grams shy of 118 kgs.  I lost a couple of kilo's prior to meeting with my surgeon and then managed about 5 kilos on the Optifast pre-op diet.  On the day of banding I weighed in at 112kgs.  In the 3 1/2 months I've been banded I have only lost 3kgs!  I have a swedish lap band which holds 10ml and currently my fill is at 7ml. 

I don't understand what is going on?  I hardly feel restriction and have never suffered any of the side effects I have read about.  I'm really scared that I'll have the maximum fill and there will still be no change?!  I feel mighty frustrated and totally uninspired.  I go to see my surgeon next week - this will be my 4th fill - hopefully this does the trick - gives me the restriction I need which in turn will motivate me to stay focused....

Taking the Plunge

I took the plunge after careful and long consideration and had lap band surgery back in July 2010... I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it just yet.  I feel that my journey so far has been frustrating and nothing like those of the blogs I have been following over the past 2 and a bit years.

I suppose I'm here because after all this time I'm at my wits end and have to admit that I need help.  I need the help to stay focused and motivated in this journey I set out for myself.  I feel like nothing but a failure, yet again!  I can't tell you how many times I have started something (weight wise) and never seen it through.  I don't know what the bloody hell is wrong with me?  Why do I keep putting it into the too hard basket???